Can we talk about the things our society sweeps under the rug?
Porn. Cutting. Panic and anxiety attacks. Depression. Drug & alcohol addictions. Masturbation. Suicidal thoughts.
Can we stop pretending these things don’t exist? How long must we self-medicate and internalize our pain until we can’t take it anymore?
I get it, we fear judgement. We don’t want to be seen by others as broken, bad, or weak. But push your pride aside for a moment, because it’s keeping you bound.
Pride is a funny thing. It puffs up our ego, when in reality it is operating out of fear and insecurity. People who are full of pride (and I’m preaching to everyone, because we all have our moments) are actually the most unconfident people. Think about it—they elevate themselves in an attempt to feel worthy, yet it’s the biggest delusion because it is rooted in insecurity.
Shame, fear, and pride all work together to keep us in shadows and in chains.
If Satan can keep your sin and your struggles hidden in the dark, they will never have to be dealt with.
I think of demons as roaches. Roaches love to come out at night. They thrive in the darkness—but flip on the light switch and those suckers scatter by the thousands because they fear being seen.
The enemy’s kingdom operates in the same way. And there never is just one roach. In the same way, there is never just one little demon that sneaks its way in through a little crack or crevice. They always bring their buddies along and prefer to stay in the depths of your heart, hidden by shame, because they are aware of the fact that once they are exposed they will (likely) have to be dealt with.
And this shame tells you that you won’t be loved or accepted if people really knew how evil your thoughts were.
It tells you that you are dirty and unclean and don’t deserve God’s forgiveness because of what you watched last night.
Shame tells you that you have to deal with that sex addiction on your own because sex has no place in church.
Do you see a pattern here? Everything is done in secret and isolation.
The Enemy knows there is spiritual power in numbers, and when you are alone, you are easier prey.
But when you confess and expose your sin to Father God, all those fears and lies that seemed to echo so loud through your mind are silenced by the blood of Jesus. You quickly discover that shame and grace cannot co-exist.
Grace says, “Show me your brokenness and I’ll show you the cross.”
There is nothing you can do to make Him love you less.
There is no sin too great that He cannot forgive.
Shame only knows religion, it does not know Love. It does not know the Father.
I have gone through a lot of spiritual freedom this past year, and it has been so wonderful and liberating. But I got too focused on the freedom and not on Jesus.
You know what happened? I went crazy trying to maintain perfection. Everything became about getting every sin or bit of darkness out of my life. Spending time with Jesus became second to deliverance or used to achieve it.
I had spiritual OCD. I fervently cleaned up every mess in my heart, windex’d everything twice, boarded up all the windows, and locked the doors to keep anything out from getting in and making a mess. I actually thought this would get me closer to God.
But The Lord showed me that some dishes in the sink, a few misplaced pillows, and that juice stain in the corner aren’t evils that I need to drive out with a crucifix and anointing oil. They show that the house is inhabited. That people live, breathe, and laugh here. Those pillows are on the ground because your little sisters were jumping around, singing along to their favorite songs. Those messy dishes in the sink were from spending time with your family at dinner last night.
You aren’t required to maintain perfection. You are allowed to make messes. You are allowed to feel, get angry, mess up, and fall short. That’s grace, too.
But we don’t take advantage of it and let messy rooms turn into an episode of Hoarders either.
Whenever my sisters and I made big enough messes, I remember my dad would emerge from his room (sometimes with a look of horror on his face), make us drop what we were doing, and take care of the disorder.
Father God does the same. That’s why it’s so crucial to invite him into the home of our hearts. Just like your father is the head of the household, Father God should be the head of your heart.
So, we have these two extremes: darkness that overtakes you or being overtaken trying to maintain perfection.
What if I told you both ailments have the same remedy?
Seeking Jesus first.
Maybe you’re all, “I have more than a big mess, sis. I have black mold in my heart. An incurable disease. Depression. Anxiety. Addictions.”
Maybe you do have some pretty big messes. But Jesus isn’t afraid or “too good” to roll up his sleeves and show you how to scrub and get the job done.
Matthew 6:33 says “Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you.”
Seek first and your physical healing will follow.
Seek first and watch your depression flee.
Seek first and watch your addictions break before your very eyes.
It’s all in spending time with Him. Drawing our hearts near to His heart. That’s all He’s been after since the beginning of creation. Our hearts. He created us because He wanted to be a dad. He doesn’t care about you keeping a perfect scoreboard or how many devils you cast out of someone—He cares about His relationship with you.
“But God still loved us with such great love. He is so rich in compassion and mercy. Eve when we were dead and doomed in our many sins, he united us into the very life of Christ and saved us by his wonderful grace! […] For it was only through this wonderful grace that we believed in him. Nothing we did could ever earn this salvation, for it was the gracious gift from God that brought us to Christ! So no one will ever be able to boast, for salvation is never a reward for good works or human striving.
We have become his poetry, a re-created people that will fulfill the destiny he has given each of us, for we are joined to Jesus. Even before we were born, God planned in advance our destiny and the good works we would do to fulfill it!”
(Ephesians 2:4-5; 8-10)